Train Hard, Be Happy

Well, it finally happened. Our oldest son moved out. Looking back on the day he was born (which seems like yesterday) I knew this day would come but honestly it came fast. Granted there were plenty of days...perhaps weeks...nay years....that I thought the day would never come. Luckily he was smart enough to do it when he was ready, when the right opportunity presented itself and now every one can feel good about it. It's going to be awesome seeing his life unfold in his new adventure.

This process has caused me to think about how much of our life is seeking for happiness. For some, that perfect balance in life occurs when all is well and we have nothing to complain about. For others it might be the new car or the bigger house or the next career change. In my experience, many individuals that are waiting for happiness are stuck in a depressed state. They are waiting and hoping for the change that will finally give them the happiness they deserve.

The saying 'the grass is always greener' applies especially to those that seek material things or changes in order to finally become happy. I believe that happiness should come from within ourselves; we should be the primary determiners of our happiness. But how do we get there?

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." ~Frederick Koenig.

The happiest people I know are the ones that generate happiness and exude it to those around them. I love being around these people! They are quick to forgive and spend very little time judging. They notice the little details about a situation that are good and positive and that can be built upon. One of my good friends always has a smile on his face - no matter what kind of turmoil is happening in his life. He is truly is a happy person.

Why are the happiest people I know some of the most successful? Is it because of their success that they are happy? Watching them I see that the reason for their success is their happiness. Their happiness generates a wave of good that benefits their lives in so many ways, success is inevitable.

The truth about happiness is that you yourself are in charge of it. YOU get to decide WHEN to be happy, when to be offended and who to be angry with. You can also decide to let the past be the past and bygones be bygones.

We also want happiness for our kids. But how do we know what makes them happy? Is it material things? Or is it awards and recognition? We know that basing our happiness on external recognition or on things that we acquire will make for an unhappy life. But how do we help our children be happy?

Here's a quote from the book by Tim Elmore that I mentioned last month:

"Adults have been committed to giving kids a strong self-esteem for 30 years now. We wrongly assumed we could do that by simply telling them they're special and awesome. According to the American Psychological Association, healthy and robust self-esteem actually comes from achievement, not merely affirmation. In our attempt to provide everything they want, we've actually created a new category of at-risk children: middle-class and affluent kids who are depressed because they've never really accomplished anything. We must teach and parent for the long term, not the short term. Sure, doing it yourself is quicker, but transferring a skill is much better" (Excerpt From: Tim Elmore. "12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid.")

Most children love a gift or a present. But how long does that present generate happiness and joy? It is a temporary thing and after the newness wears off, what's next? I know as a parent, I have sometimes sacrificed constructive time for leisure time to be 'the good guy' and make sure my child was happy. But this can't be the norm and that time is also very temporary.

Downtime is good for everyone. Entertainment can be positive and even uplifting. But it should not be our sole means for generating happiness. It places too much emphasis on the external versus our internal processes that control our moods.

As parents and leaders to the children we have influence over, we should avoid entertaining to make them happy. Instead we should work on teaching the tools and recognizing their gifts that will enable them to succeed. As these young persons work towards their goals they will find happiness in their own efforts of accomplishment.

At Kajukenbo Arizona, it is our goal to give everyone the tools to be able to work hard and accomplish goals. We strive to not compare or compete destructively to ourselves. Sweating and working generates a good feeling and allows us to purge the bad thought or bad attitudes that bring us down. Kaju AZ should always be a source of happiness and success and I hope it is for you and your children!

Thank you for your continued support! Train Strong to Remain Strong!

-Professor Kelly Corder

Gaining Strength Through Struggles

One of my favorite Kaju AZ events each year is the Parent Appreciation Dinner. Having been a parent of two martial arts students, I know first-hand the efforts you each make to support not only your children but our Ohana as well. It’s always a great opportunity to mingle and get to know each other better, enjoy a great meal, share my love of pie-making and perhaps most importantly, express our philosophy about our kids programs.

This year we will be talking about how we can help our children face and overcome their challenges on their own.

Many of us as parents feel it is our duty to take away the pain and reduce the difficulty of the tasks for our kids. We want the best for our kids and somehow, over time, we have come to believe that the best includes the elimination of pain, sorrow and struggle.

Bruce Lee said “Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."

We forget that in our own lives we have endured and overcome trials that have included pain, heartache and the requirement of much effort to overcome the situation. These periods in which we endured and overcame represent huge growth in our lives. Sometimes it seems we think that we can transfer our learning experiences to our children by talking about the experiences and preventing them from experiencing it for him or herself.

Don’t you remember the stove? I think most of us have the same story in our childhood. My mom told me not to touch it. That it was hot and I would get burned. So what did I do? I touched it. I got burned. And because of the experience that included pain, I never (willingly) touched it again.

When Sibak Nic was 10 1/2, he went to Scout Camp that I was a leader for. All of the Scouts were 12 or 13. For one of the merit badges, the scouts were told to get ready for a hike and take whatever they needed. Some kids took their packs, or a jacket, or other items. Some took nothing. Unbeknownst to the scouts, they were about to “get lost” and not make it back to the safety of camp. They had to make a shelter to sleep in that night. They were only given an orange and an egg to eat or not eat. No silverware, no matches, no normal luxuries of camping. It was an out of the ordinary experience. Some of the scouts struggled due to their lack of preparedness. It was a rough night. Amazingly, those same scouts to this day talk about that night and what an AWESOME experience it was. The struggle and the overcoming the struggle was the reward.

In general, I have an attitude that my sons SHOULD fall down and get back up again on their own. THAT’S LIFE. It’s going to happen! I hate seeing them struggle but know it is necessary.

But even with that attitude I know I could have done better with letting them struggle and even fail more. Their easily-achieved successes haven’t had the same impact as the ones they “suffered” through. Too often I think I arranged the situation so that a success was a guarantee with the intention of boosting their self-esteem. In doing so, I may have stolen the learning impact of the struggle and perhaps taken away true happiness that earned success affords.

When we make it too easy, the sense of accomplishment is diminished. It’s the attempt over and over again and then, finally, the win that teaches us some important principles, such as:

 
  Effort and practice makes us better

  Effort may eventually lead to victory

  We are NOT good at everything

  We can SOMETIMES become good at things we are not so good at

  Sometimes, we will fail. What do we do about it?

We want our kids to be successful. We want the best for them. The best way to achieve this is to give them the tools to earn that success and strive for the best on their own.

Our kids program, by my design, WILL be a challenge for the students. They will have to put forth the effort to succeed. Success is not automatic - and they will fall down a few times before the milestones are achieved. They might get knocked down and they might even get hurt. They will overcome the pain, and they will learn and grow. Their challenges will be physical, mental and spiritual: mind, body, spirit as one.

One thing I am certain of: when our Dragons or Juniors have achieved their goal, they will be proud of the accomplishment. They will understand what it takes to succeed. They will feel that true happiness in themselves that comes from reaping the rewards of their own effort. They will carry that forward into all areas of their lives and be better prepared for what life is preparing for them. I know it’s the right thing and I have enjoyed seeing it play out dozens, perhaps even hundreds, of times inside and outside the dojo.

Train Strong to Remain Strong!

 -Sigung Kelly

Student of the Month - David

Favorite Color - Blue

Favorite Food - Sushi

Profession - Emergency Physician

Tell us about your family - Wife - Ellie, Sons - Alex - 4, Jacob - 1-½

Besides Kajukenbo, what other activities do you enjoy? Spending time with family, swimming, movies, video games.

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? The great atmosphere. Everyone is very welcoming. We train hard but have a great time doing it.

What are your goals for the next year, in and out of the dojo? Lower my stress.

Student of the Month - Anthony

Favorite Color - Green

Favorite Food - Sushi

Profession - A/V Contractor

Tell us about your family and pets - Dacia- my wife, Phillip- 3 year old son, Ryder- 2 year old son, 2 Turtles - may be ninjas?

Besides Kaju, what other activities do you enjoy? Indoor Rock Climbing, Training for America Ninja Warrior

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? They Train Strong. Great Teachers

What are your goals for the next year, in and out of the dojo? Compete in America Ninja Warrior. Be a better Martial Artist.

Student of the Month - Mason

Favorite Color - Golden

Favorite Food - Corn Dog

Favorite Subject in School - Math

Tell us about your family and pets - Mom, sister, dog Chippie and tortoise Racer.

Besides Kaju, what other activities do you enjoy? Basketball

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? Army Crawl

Meeting Marcus Luttrell

“Awards don’t define you. Your actions define you.” - Marcus Luttrell

I attended the Martial Arts Supershow (MAS)in Vegas in July. The MAS  is a gathering of martial arts teachers where you can get new ideas and meet colleagues.  I always become re-energized and recommitted to becoming a better martial arts instructor when I attend.  I love the speakers – not just martial artists – but industry leaders that exemplify success. 

The main speaker this year was Victor Antonio, a well-known sales motivational speaker. I enjoyed his presentation very much and he was tasked with introducing the 2014 recipient of the lifetime achievement award. The intro included a movie clip of recipient's mom, a tough Texas gal who spoke of taking her twin sons to karate and how THAT, along with them both joining the seal teams, helped them become the men they are today.

The recipient was Marcus Luttrell whose amazing story was recounted in the book and movie Lone Survivor. His patrol was found in the mountains while on a mission and a battle ensued.  After sustaining several major life threatening injuries, Mr. Luttrell was taken in by villagers and a successful rescue occurred.  His will to survive and patriotism are heroic.

Mr. Luttrell did not talk about his experience in Afghanistan; instead he talked about his mom and his upbringing. He talked about how his mother valued discipline and signed him up for karate to instill those qualities.  He admitted that there were plenty of days he did not want to go…but she persevered and took them. Sound familiar?

Mr. Luttrell said "Respect is earned through discipline". What a profound statement! It's not that respect is earned through accomplishing some great feat or receiving recognition. It's the day-to-day, repeated actions that make small changes in us that over time help us become something more - hopefully something more capable and more able to handle the things that the world might throw at us.

We often set our sights on goals that are meaningful and lofty. We might not realize that the day-to-day process of moving toward those goals IS affecting changes in our lives that ultimately make us happy and fulfilled. We might even be happier than simply attaining the goal would have made us! This is one reason for enjoying the journey in all things that we do, not just martial arts, but also everything we experience in life!

Mr. Luttrell also said “Awards don't define you. Your actions define you.”  This can apply in so many ways to our lives and to our martial arts training. Mr. Luttrell was an inspiration to me and I am grateful to have had this experience to hear from him.

In martial arts, if we work hard toward earning that belt which might be our short-term or even long-term goal, we become the martial artist that would deserve to wear that belt. This is poignant for me as I think about my family and how we have raised our boys. We desired to teach them to appreciate hard work and enjoy the rewards that come from hard work.  We taught them to be suspicious of short cuts from hard work. I think that is an attitude that we can and should cultivate all of our young students. It is easy to see the ultimate benefits of being a hard worker: life enjoyment, confidence and success in all areas of their lives.  

I am grateful to be involved in each our student’s lives and martial arts journey.  I appreciate your trust and take my responsibility seriously.  I look forward to seeing our hard-working, sweaty and smiling faces each class. I can see the reward of pushing them…maybe not every day but looking ahead, the payoff will be huge!

Train Strong!

-Sigung Kelly

Student of the Month - Noah

Favorite Color - Green

Favorite Food - Bacon!

Favorite Subject in School - Language Arts

Tell us about your family - There are five people including me, mom, dad, Connor and Kirstin. We all enjoy training at Kaju AZ!

Do you have any pets? Yes, 1 dog (Twix) and 2 cats (Snickers and SnoCap)

Besides Kajukenbo, what other activities do you enjoy? Baseball, drawing, playing video games, hiking, backpacking, Boy Scouts.

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? Working hard, having fun with friends, helping teach class, SWAT/STORM events, CrossPIT.

Student of the Month - Sarah

Favorite Color - Pink

Favorite Food - Ice Cream

Profession - Queen Creek Olive Mill

Tell us about your family and pets - I am married to a wonderful man, Mr. Josh Martin and we have 2 kids Ian and Victoria. We also have 2 dogs named Dixie and Sydney.

Besides Hula, what other activities do you enjoy? I enjoy camping with my family and friends. I love going to the beach and also love love love spending time with my kids.

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ?    I love that we are Ohana! Everyone is so supportive and most of all Sigung and Sifu are 2 of the best people that we have ever known, and we are lucky to have them in our lives. Sifu Dolly is great and I love that I get to learn the art of Hula Dancing from her.

What are your goals for the next year? My goals are to be a little more stress free, spend more time with the ones that make me a great person. Also start getting to CrossPITS more often.

Black Belt Reflections - Mr. Connor

My temporal journey to black belt began in the summer of 2009 when I first stepped foot in the Kajukenbo Mesa dojo. It was five years from the age of thirteen to the age of eighteen, ten belts from white to black, eight pretests, and ten belt tests. Over this course of time I learned twelve of nearly every technique: forms, self-defense, and grappling. There are many measurable aspects of my black belt journey. Being a black belt, and a martial artist in general, however, is not about being able to put things together in a list. It is about self-improvement and it relies heavily on the effort you put forth into attaining your goal.

An analogy I have come up with for this is the belt. Not the rank or knowledge associated with a belt level, but the physical band that is often tied around a gi. When I first walked through the doors of Kajukenbo I was presented with a brand new white belt, identical to every other new white belt and waiting to be broken in. As I began training, the belt began to form to my body and became differentiated with sweat and dirt. And when I was ready to move on, I received a brand new yellow belt, again, identical to every other new yellow belt. This is a never-ending process at Kaju AZ, but it represents what I’m trying to say. The black belt journey is less about the belts and more about the journey. A greater portion of time in martial arts is dedicated to training rather than testing. The crisp newness of each belt right after promotion is representative of this, and serves as a reminder that there is always more to learn, always more to the journey. This is how I choose to view my black belt, as both a reflection on the past and a challenge to future opportunities. 

Some of the goals I set earlier on in my training were to improve my confidence and physical endurance, and become a more disciplined leader. While I can say I’ve certainly noticed progress in these areas, I’ve also developed a greater appreciation for the art and for all the time and effort that has gone in to the synthesis of Kajukenbo curriculum under which I train. As a black belt in the system I have come to realize how high the Kajukenbo standard has been set by black belts before me. As a black belt and especially as a Kajukenbo black belt I know there will be more expected from me and I will be challenged to uphold this standard as I share my knowledge with others.

Lastly, in reflecting on my Kajukenbo journey, I must express my gratitude to the Corder family, Sifu Dolly Abad, and other mentors who have pushed me up to this point. I would also like to thank the entire Kajukenbo Ohana for supporting me in countless ways, whether by working directly with me, being an uki at my belt tests, or even allowing me to teach you in a class. And finally I would like to thank my family for training with me and encouraging me in everything I do.

Proud Member of the Mean Moms Club

As much I try to deny it, I am getting old.  I used to only feel old but now the mirror is telling me I look old too. The good news about getting old is I get to look back and appreciate what all the newer moms are going through.  The best part of my job at Kaju AZ is working with each of you and your children.  I have so many memories exactly like yours, the good and the bad.  It’s what bonds us as Ohana.

When I see a proud dad watch and worry over his child’s tournament performance, I can relate.  When I see parents stressed when their child gets injured, I can relate.  When I see a frazzled mom come in with a kid screaming “I hate karate,” I can relate.

We decided that our kids were going to do martial arts early on.  Both of us were intrigued by martial arts and my husband always wanted to train but his family situation did not allow it until he was married and on his own.

Our oldest loved karate right from the beginning. He was always smiling and excited to go to class. Never questioned his instructors and worked hard.  There isn’t one picture of him in his gi that he isn’t smiling.  “Hey Nic, you are going to compete in a tournament” “WOW MOM, I am so excited.”

Second son… not so much and quite the opposite. In fact, there isn’t one picture of him in his gi that he isn’t crying (at least for the first 3 years). “Cam let’s get in the car for karate.” “I can’t like it.”

Bless Grandmaster and Aunty Lim’s hearts…there were literally times I walked Cam into their dojo, handed him off and walked away. Much like a grenade I guess.  They always said not to worry, he was fine and that they wanted him there.

But I knew better because I sat in the car and watched through the window.  He was crying a good portion of the time. The non-crying times he had the grumpiest look on his face.  Almost all the time he was standing right next to Grandmaster while he taught so that he wouldn’t be a disruption.  I am not even sure he did one thing he was asked to do. And if he did, he probably did it with more attitude than acceptable. He never even smiled after class.  His few words usually expressed his strong dislike of me and karate.

It would have been a lot easier then to just throw in the towel and let him, as a 4-5 year old make his own decision.  It did not feel right to do that so we became THOSE parents…the mean ones.

The reasons we “forced” him were simple…he lacked the education and experience necessary to know what was good for him (don’t tell him but in some cases, he still does!).  So my husband and I decided for him.  There was absolutely no way that a short amount of karate was going to be beneficial. We could have enrolled him in a school in which kids earn black belts in a year, but that was the worst thing we could do. There were qualities and skills from martial arts that we wanted – and HE NEEDED – to learn.

Self-Defense.  Physical fitness. Leadership. Goal setting. Camaraderie. Compassion. Self-Control. Loyalty. Courage. Honesty. Integrity. Respect. Confidence.  Time management.  Balance in life. Commitment. Sportsmanship. The thrill of victory. The agony of defeat. And so much more.

It got easier as they were older. When they hinted they were tired of karate we “discussed” it more.  Tried to figure out if they were just trying to be lazy or if there was some other motivation (like girls). I always said “it’s only 2 hours a week, how about we cut out some TV time or computer time and then you can do all of it.” When they wanted to try new activities or sports, I said okay but let’s do karate once a week to maintain your hard-earned material.  I maintained that I could see the future differently than they could and they would thank me. 

Flash forward 15 years and guess what, martial arts are a huge part of our family and my sons lives (more than we ever thought).  I no longer have to force them to go although there are times I know they wrestle with wanting to give up their leisure time.  Funny thing is I hear them say the same things I told them when they were growing up to others “It’s only 2 hours a week” “Don’t give up now.” “We aren’t quitters, let’s finish this.” “You will feel better after class.”  I never told either of my sons that they had to do karate forever…I only said they needed to gain a good amount of skill before I would let them decide to stay or go.

Aunty Jen

Student of the Month - John

Favorite Color - Green
Favorite Food - Sushi
Profession - House Painting

Tell us about your family and pets - I have one brother, who is a polar opposite, my parents Bill and Jean, we are a close family. I have a dog Roxy. She’s a mutt and lazy like me. She’s around 11 I believe.

Besides Kaju, what other activities do you enjoy? I’m big on games, I like to jet ski, read, I like to volunteer when I have the time.

What do you like most about Kaju AZ? Probably I like the fact it’s all real, we really are learning how to survive street fights but it’s all in a family setting.

What are your goals for the next year? Probably lose weight mainly, and hopefully learn a new language.

Student of the Month - Serenity

Favorite Color - Pink (& blue)
Favorite Food - Strawberries and Pizza
Favorite Subject in school - Reading and Music

Tell us about your family - I live with my mom and grandma. I have a great grandma and grandpa. They have horses and cows.

Do you have any pets? Yes 2 dogs. They are small dogs.

Besides Kaju, what other activities do you enjoy? Homework and reading

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? Sparring with other dragons, running and jumping over bags.

Student of the Month - Sophie

Favorite Color - Green

Favorite Food - Ribs

Favorite Subject in school - Science

Tell us about your family - They are funny.

Do you have any pets? Yes, a dog and a tortoise.

Besides Kaju, what other activities do you enjoy? Basketball

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? It’s fun sparring.

Student of the Month - John - CrossPIT

Favorite Color - The color of my girls’ eyes

Favorite Food - Anything but Kale and no fast food

Profession - Records Mgmt & Transportation Professional - Really just a clown in training

Tell us about your family and pets - I live with 4 girls - enough said! (And I love them all dearly!)

Besides CrossPIT, what other activities do you enjoy? Cycling

 

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? Diversity in workouts, supportive peers, great people!

What are your goals for the next year? I want to be the Grand Puba of Bedrock - move over Flintstone!

My Search for Approval

I typically fly under the radar but like every one on earth, I want to be accepted.   My need for acceptance and approval has stopped me from taking some growth opportunities over my almost 50-years, as I have feared not being successful or being liked.

Some of my accomplishments in life are easy to measure in terms of approval and well worth the effort.  Being awarded a college degree after 130 hours of coursework. . Being hired after interviewing for a position is another. Even having that black belt wrapped around my waist was an approval of my technique, skills and abilities as a martial artist.

When I talk to our students I always tell them that their martial arts journey is all about what they think or feel about themselves. I truly believe and advise others to not worry what others think about you. Don’t compare and don’t compete.

Yet I struggle with this myself on a daily basis. Being human can be hard especially when we are hard on ourselves….thinking we aren’t impressive enough, or our kicks aren’t high enough or whatever the negative thoughts lead us to.

I love food and cooking and have tried out for the television show “Master Chef” for the past two years.  Logically, I know this is a search for approval of my culinary skills (and maybe a little desire to meet Gordon Ramsay).  Putting myself “out there” for the audition is nerve-racking.  Having my friends and family tell me that I am great cook did not seem to be enough.

At last fall’s audition they told me my signature dish was awesome. It earned me a one-on-one 90-minute meeting with one of the executive producers who gave me some behind-the-scenes info…basically a recipe for who I needed to become to be on the show (look younger, get a tattoo, be rude, talk crude, dress differently – basically get more attention).

For the past few months I thought a lot about my willingness to do “what it takes” to be on the show in case I got the call to report to Los Angeles for the next level.    Sure the money is appealing but most of all being told I am good enough is the draw.

To seek approval of others and land the Master Chef gig, I asked myself: Would I be willing to change my outward appearance or personality to have someone try my food?  Could I maintain being someone else in order to get that approval?  Could I master the art of telling people what they wanted to hear and being someone they would find impressive? All the while I was worrying incessantly about what others would think of me, fearing criticism. Talk about anxiety!

They never called, so I never had to really decide I guess.  Recently people have asked if I was going to try out again.  If you had asked me on Friday, I might have said yes. Because I seek approval.

There’s a dish I make for my family affectionately called “Beef Stuff.”  I know, stupid name but there is really no other name to call it.  My mother learned how to make it from my dad’s mom, who suffered a massive stroke and died when I was 4-years old.  My own mother died from cancer in 1986 when I was 19.  To my father this dish represents his childhood, his mother (he was definitely a momma’s boy) and his beloved wife.

Unfortunately, my mother never gave me all the secrets to this dish. It’s a LOT of work when you know how to make it and a TON of work if you don’t.  For the past 28 years, I have plugged along easily spending literally hundreds of hours making some horrible batches, some better and some pretty dang good…all based on my scattered memories of seeing my mom make it, as well as my taste memory.

It would have been easy to give up and just say the secret of the Beef Stuff died with Grandma Emmy or my mom, Karen. I made my latest batch a few weeks ago so my dad could take some on his trip to Salt Lake City to see family.  I remember it clearly – it was the easiest batch I have ever made.  It totally came together, no issues on prep, no worry it was going to be right. I cooked it, served it and enjoyed making it.  My family loved it. “Best ever Mom.”

And I realized, even after all the dishes were done and the accolades, that I truly love making the Beef Stuff.  I can’t imagine not making it for holidays and birthdays.

My dad took some Beef Stuff to his sister this weekend. Aunt Marianne, like my Grandpa, never made Beef Stuff because she said it was too hard.

Marianne doesn’t have a lot of time left on earth, she can’t talk well anymore and has a full-time nurse due to old age and illness.  The phone rang Saturday and it was my Uncle calling saying “Your aunt wants to talk to you. I hope you can understand her.”  He handed her the phone.  For a couple of minutes, all I heard was breathing.

“Hi Aunt Marianne. How are you?”

 “Good.” Her voice is soft and her German accent is thick.

 “Are you having a good day?”

 Big pause.

 “Thank you for the food your dad brought me.” It was a big effort for her to speak.
 “Did you like it?”

 “It tastes exactly like what my mommy made.”

 I was floored. “Really?”

 “Thank you for bringing her to me.”

At that moment, any need I have had about being told I am a good cook, being accepted by “professional” chefs, or having my food loved was GONE.  Somewhere in my search for approval by someone who doesn’t even know me, I lost the true goal of all of it.

I love cooking. For myself. I love all parts of it – shopping, prep, technique. I love it for the ones I love. I love making great food that we eat while making great family memories.  Memories for my benefit. For my happiness. I love it for me.

E.E. Cummings said, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

What you see is what you get with me.  Don’t bother calling me, Master Chef, for next season. I know you will because you did before.  I know I am a phenomenal cook.  I know more about cooking than 99% of the average joe.  You will definitely love my food and I will win every challenge you give me.   But I am not going to change myself to be anyone other than the boring 48-year old, mom of two, with the same guy for 30-years, black belt.

I accept that. Happily. I am happy with being me.

So Kaju AZ students, I repeat: don’t compare or compete.  Do Kajukenbo for the love of it.  For you. It’s worth it.

- Sifu Jen

"A Black Belt is a White Belt that never Quit"

This I know to be true. After more than six years, hundreds of hours of training, thousands of burpees, kicks and punches, lots of sweat and some tears, I am a black belt. I am not an extraordinary athlete. I am not the strongest. I don’t have the best kicks or the hardest punches. What it takes to be a black belt is more than just being good at those things. A black belt has a desire to learn and change and grow. A black belt has a dedication to their instructors, school and to learning the material. A black belt has discipline to follow through when it gets harder than they ever thought it would be. 

I like the story about how a martial artist used to become a black belt. When a student would begin training, they were given a belt and they would train, day in and day out, year after year. And then one day they notice they have trained so long and so hard their belt is black. 

This story reminds me that underneath the black is the white. I am always first and foremost a student. I make it a point to learn something new everyday. It might be a skill I have never seen or improving on an old skill. Sometimes I learn from my instructor. Sometimes I learn from my students. It is so important to me that I train with the humility of a white belt and at the same time the perseverance of a black belt.

I wish I could tell you all the things I have learned over the years. How they have changed me and shaped my life. But those experiences were individually mine. Just as your experiences as a martial artist will be uniquely yours. I do know that you will face times in your training when you will feel uncertain of your ability. And that is okay. Trust that you will learn what you need to learn when it is time. There will also be times when you will wonder why you can’t learn more techniques and faster. These are the times you need to remember it is not a race. Slow down and enjoy what you are learning right now. There will be times when you don’t know how you are going to remember everything. You will remember. And you will forget. And then you will remember it again!

The most interesting aspect of training, testing and being promoted to black belt is the shift that my thinking took. In the beginning, it was all about the numbers. How many techniques I needed to get a purple belt, how much more I needed to know to get a brown belt. The numbers are important, yes, but for me it turned into being more about my mindset and growth.  

The black belt principles are a guide for me everyday. Being a martial artist is not something that I do, it is who I am. The student creeds are not just to be recited, but truly understood and lived on a daily basis. And this might be the most important part…. it is possible for everyone to live by the black belt principles, and live the student creeds. So it is possible for every one, whether you are a white belt or black belt, to have a black belt attitude.

My life is so full of blessings because of Sigung and Sifu. I have met so many people and made amazing friends. I have found a passion for teaching kids. I am also lucky enough to be able to share all of this with my husband and kids. I feel very honored to be a black belt and represent my school, my instructors, my students and my family. So to you I simply say, keep training. Leave the best you have on the mat everyday. Enjoy the great times. Fight through the tough times. And one day you too can be a black belt. I know this because if I can, you can!
- Ms Jessica B

Student of the Month - Beth

Favorite Color - Blue, it reminds me of the ocean

Favorite Food - Veggie & Chicken Marsala
Profession - Hair Stylist / Mom / Student

Tell us about your family and pets - 2 kids, Owen and Emily - I could not imagine my life without them! Omar, my husband and best friend, and I will be married 18 years in April. 4 dogs, but like kids, Slim, Romeo, Thor, Wookie

Besides Kaju, what other activities do you enjoy?
I play soccer Mondays, I enjoy CrossFit, I love to hike and be outdoors. I also like taking cruises (If that’s an activity)

What do you like most about Kaju AZ? It’s a love/hate because it’s such a challenge for me - I usually succeed at all things in one try. Kaju makes me have to push and it has taught me to be patient with myself and keep going through the struggles.


What are your goals for the next year? I want my bachelors degree. I would like to be able to do 5 pull-ups consecutively and advance in any capacity in kaju not just belts, but overall technique.

Character Counts!!!

At Kaju AZ, our students learn techniques to help keep them safe. Our kids work hard every day, they sweat a lot and have fun!

From the very first day of class, our students learn about the 6 Black Belt Principles - Courage, Honesty, Respect, Integrity, Self Control and Loyalty. What makes us the most proud as instructors is when we hear about the success our students have outside of the dojo, especially when it relates to their character.

"We would like to congratulate Mason for being nominated for the 2014 Gilbert's Community of Character - CHARACTER COUNTS! Awards. This nomination is quite an honor. This award was created to recognize and celebrate young people in our community whose lives and achievements
demonstrate an enduring commitment to the core ethical values known as the "Six Pillars of Character"-trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, and citizenship. Mason has exemplified these character traits and has acted in a way that has been noted by others and deemed worthy of nomination for this award.      - Gilbert Community Action Network

Mason will be honored at a breakfast in April where Vice Mayor Eddie Cook and other dignitaries will be on hand to recognize all nominees. 

Mason is a caring young man with a true love for life and those around him. He has a great group of people that model exemplary character for him everyday; his family, friends and teachers. These positive influences are what help any young person become great leaders and role models in their community. 

Congratulations Mason! We are so proud of you! Keep up the great work!

Student of the Month - Roman

Favorite Color - Red

Favorite Food - Hot Wings

Favorite Subject in school - Math and Science

Tell us about your family - I have a mom and dad. I also have 3 sisters named Talia, Dana and Abbey. I also have 2 brothers named Damian and Julian.

Do you have any pets? Yes, I have a rabbit named Thorin.

Besides Kaju, what other activities do you enjoy? I enjoy playing basketball, watching movies and spending time with my family and listening to music.


What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? I like the pinions and concentrations and sparring.

Student of the Month - Brooklin

Favorite Color - Red
Favorite Food - Grilled Cheese
Profession - Starbucks Barista

Tell us about your family and pets - I have two younger brothers, Ryder and Hunter. I live with my mom and dad, Tabitha and Rick, who I love and care about deeply.

Besides Kaju, what other activities do you enjoy? Listening to music, playing music, hiking and spending time with my family and friends.

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? The people mostly but learning how to defend myself and being self disciplined are other great factors.


What are your goals for the next year? In the dojo, to learn more material and move up in belts. Outside of the dojo, get a well-paying career.

Student of the Month - Chris

Favorite Color - Red

Favorite Food - Steak and Pizza, but not together 

Tell us about your family - I currently live with my parents, Lisa and David and my sister Katy. Katy also does Kaju and is a blue belt.

Do you have any pets? Yes. 2 dogs. Blade is 10 years old and is a Belgian Malinois and a 1 year old   English Mastiff who is 160 pounds of slobber and fun.

Besides Kaju, what other activities do you enjoy? I like watching action and horror movies (Chuckie, Jason, Freddy Krugger) I love playing my xBox 360, My favorite games are Batman, Assasin’s Creed. And Football. Go Steelers!

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? All the friendly people and instructors. I have made friends. I really like CrossPIT as it makes me stronger

Student of the Month - Lynn

Favorite Color - Pink
Favorite Food - Steak and Salad, Shepherd’s pie (the real Canadian way), Amy’s chocolate chip cookies, Lindt chocolate truffles, yum! I just really like food!

Profession - Life Insurance Underwriter

Tell us about your family - I am married to Jason, Sarah is 7 and has her Dragon Double Yellow Belt. Matthew is almost 6 and has his Dragon yellow belt. We all love Kaju! Liberty our cat will be 3 on July 4th. She is starting to like people.

Besides Kajukenbo, what other activities do you enjoy? I enjoy swimming, reading, sleeping and watching movies and camping (but I’m not a fan of bears right outside my tent)

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? I love the people! Kaju is truly my home away from home. I can’t wait to see my friends and instructors each day and share the great workouts and classes we have together. “It’s the way you make me feel!”

What are your goals for the next year in and out of the dojo? I want to be stronger and continue to progress in Kajukenbo. I want to be more proficient in my self defense and improve my “finishing off” work. At home I want to finally get all my pictures up!

Student of the Month - Ed

Favorite Color - Turquoise
Favorite Food - Mexican
Profession - Firefighter/Chiropractor

Tell us about your family - We have two boys, Jessup (11) and Jacob (9). Both do well in school and we all study a lot.

Besides Kaju, what other activities do you enjoy? We enjoy camping, skiing and hiking. I especially  love backpacking.

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? Being with friends, staying fit and learning solid self defense techniques.

What are your goals for the next year?
Write a paper on fascial science as it pertains to manual medicine, become a teacher of the Fascial Manipulation Technique, work with the US Martial Arts Team at the 2014 World Games in Vancouver, become a black belt in Kaju.

Student of the Month - Jacob

Favorite Color - Blue

Favorite Food - Anything from In & Out and/or Sweet Tomatoes

Favorite subject in school - History

Tell us about your family - My immediate family includes: Robyn, Mom, Ben, Papa, Muzzie, Ga-ma, Dad, Aunt Kim, Uncle Joe, Grandpa Denny and my Kaju Family, which for sake of space will not be mentioned here.

Do you have any pets? Yes, 3 dogs and 1 cat

Besides Kaju, what other activities do you enjoy? Go-pedding, model rockets and drawing

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? I like that no-one will judge you by appearance, only by character.

The Black Belt Oath

This weekend’s STORM retreat was a great opportunity for our instructors to get renewed and refreshed. It was an opportunity to recharge the martial arts teaching batteries! There were multiple sessions with plenty of group interaction regarding how we can teach martial arts more effectively and how we can share our passion for martial arts.

We also reviewed the Black Belt oath:

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“I, ____________, accept with honor and privilege the Black Belt in martial arts and do hereby swear to uphold he standards of honesty, integrity, courtesy, high moral code and indomitable spirit.”

“I sincerely pledge to honor my instructor and school, with loyalty and support, and to value and carry on the martial arts tradition with respect and dignity.”

“I further pledge, with humility and gratitude, to continue my mental, physical and spiritual growth to the highest level, to lead by example, and to share what I have learned with others.”

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All of our STORM and SWAT team reviewed the oath and discussed it. We discussed how we can execute this oath in our teaching and in our lives now (even before receiving a black belt).

For me the oath is an important part of my martial arts journey. I believe that having a black belt in martial arts must stand for something more than learning about how to potentially injure another person. Instead, it’s about avoiding harm to anyone. But we must be willing and able to defend our loved ones, those that cannot defend themselves, and ourselves.

We train in martial arts, but the black belt principles and our integrity prevent us from being a bully or being quick to raise our hands in anger. We can instead use our martial arts to avoid a conflict, or to diffuse a situation. We keep our egos in check and instead look for the good in others and look for ways around serious situations. But if we have to go into a situation, we must be prepared for anything; and we must do our utmost to survive.

The oath also reminds me about the instructors that have passed their knowledge and understanding of the martial arts on to me. I have a responsibility to protect the knowledge and share it with others. I should also preserve the integrity of how the knowledge is passed and remember that knowledge earned is knowledge learned. I also have a duty to protect my instructors and to respect them and remember them always.

Whenever I visit with my instructor I make sure I greet him and spend time with him. I try to contact him regularly to check in and see if there is anything I can do for him. I try to spend time asking him questions or just listening to what advice he might have for me to improve my students and myself. I enjoy having access to a wealth of knowledge and experience at my finger tips.

One of my favorite times was at Lim pool party and Shizu Abad and Grandmaster Lim were just hanging out talking about a recent trip that Shizu had made to Maui to visit Sijo. What a great opportunity to spend time just hanging out and having conversation! We are spoiled to have GM Lim, and Professor Lim come and visit us and spend time at our school.

Last year I visited the PIT and then also got a chance to hang with the Pit Master at the Martial Arts Supershow. The Pit Master might look gruff, but in reality he is a caring and kind person that is constantly working to improve himself and his martial arts. He will always answer a question to the best of his ability and will tell you what he thinks in order to help you become better.

In February I visited my BJJ Coach Luigi Mondelli at American Top Team in Danbury, CT. It was quality time with a great group of people. I was able to not only develop physical skills but my spirit was re-energized too. It was great to test why we do at Kaju AZ and know it is working.  I love how our BJJ program is growing.  I am excited that Professor Luigi is coming to our school May 10th. Mark your calendars  for this awesome opportunity!

Of course, having the knowledge that I have earned over the years of my training would be useless if it wasn’t passed on and shared. That’s one of the many reasons we have the yin yang on our patch: we learn, then we share what we learn, and through that we learn even more.

I didn’t know how much I truly loved martial arts until I began teaching it. I am grateful and honored to have met the people I have met over the years that have shared their thoughts and understandings with me. I am more blessed by the students and the parents of my students that entrust their time and loved ones to my care. 

Thank you for trusting Kaju AZ to always do our best to: protect our students, teach them real techniques that actually work, build their minds and bodies through hard work, and teach them to never let anyone take their lunch money.

Train Strong!

- Sigung Kelly

Student of the Month - Kristine

Favorite Color - Red and Black

Favorite Food - Artichokes and Chocolate (not together)

Profession - Kaju AZ Admin

Tell us about your family - My husband Russ and I have been married for 16 years.  He is always very supportive and keeps me laughing.  We have 2 kids Lauren (13) and Landon (10) and one dog Harry and he is very hairy, but the family wouldn't let me spell it that way.  

Both kids also train at KajuAZ.  We like to take family bike rides, play games and watch movies.

Besides Kaju, what other activities do you enjoy? Reading, biking, quilting and photography

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? I feel like I am turning back the clock.  It challenges me both physically and mentally  - and I believe in the use it or lose it theory.  I also love the people, real honest and supportive.  Just the type of people I want around my family.

What are your goals for the next year?

I want to work on my flexibility.  I would like to be able to do the splits again.  At home, I need to develop more patience as my kids approach the teen/tween years.  My other goal is to work on cleaning out and organizing the house.

Student of the Month - Maunale'o

Favorite Color - Blue, Red, Green and Yellow

Favorite Food - Teriyaki Chicken, Kalua Pig, Saimin and Pizza

Favorite Subject in School - PE, so I can play

Tell us about your family - I have a twin sister named Kaihohonu who dance hula at Kaju AZ. I also have a big brother and big sister on Maui. We live with our Mama To in San Tan Valley and our Daddy lives on Maui.

Do you have any pets? Not here, but a Blue Nose Pitbull named Poly back on Maui and pig named Baggy.

Besides Kajukenbo, what other activities do you enjoy? Watching Kung Fu movies while eating popcorn with Mochi crunch and Lihing mui powder. I really like rollerblading, swimming and just hanging out with my ohana

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ? Take downs, monkey crawls, the friends I made, my instructors, and sometimes I love the running. I also like learning self defense and boxing hands.

Student of the Month - Gracie

Favorite Color - Purple

Favorite Food - Shrimp

Favorite Subject in school - Music

Tell us about your family - My brother is funny, my dad is awesome, and my mom is great because she helps me with my homework.

Do you have any pets? I have 2 dogs. Their names are Jessie and Louis

Besides Kaju, what other activities do you enjoy? Playing on my playground.

What do you like most about training at Kaju AZ?  I get to see my friends and train strong to remain strong.