Success is Sharing

Martial arts training is a very personal experience that focuses on personal growth. This is a good thing! However, this can sometimes make it a very "self-focused" exercise. As we concentrate on our improvement, our goals, our techniques, we must be aware that our attitude may become selfish and self-centered.

Training in martial arts is different than running or lifting weights. The people who are on our journey with us are very important to our growth. We need training partners that will push us to be better. We need to practice our martial arts on many different body types in many different scenarios. We need to teach the material to others in order to help us better understand the material.

An important part of training is to balance the yin (the soft) with the yang (the hard). This can take a lot of time to get right. We can say that our physical training in learning to do bodily harm to someone focuses on the yang. In contrast, our character and attitude of seeking peace can be our yin. An attitude of self-centered focus in only our training makes our character not in balance with our training.

" The most important human endeavors is the striving for morality in our actions.  Our inner balance and even our very existence depend on it. Only morality in our actions can give beauty and dignity to life. "   - Albert Einstein

Here are some questions that we can ask ourselves to see how our training attitude is:

1. As we train, do we compare ourselves to others and feel bad when someone else is doing better than us at the moment?
2. Do you keep insights to yourself, afraid that if you were to share them, someone might have an edge on you?
3. Do you avoid helping others because is might make them better or even possible better than you?

If the answer to those is 'yes', that person may be coming from a self-centered mode of training. That person often holds tight to what he/she knows. That person may become afraid to share, worrying that someone will steal his/her ideas or secret technical advantaged. The problem with this type of thinking is the student becomes stale and stagnant in growth. The focus becomes on worrying too much about what others think versus the reality of who we are. We could become obsessed with avoiding potential failure, leading to avoiding pushing ourselves outside our comfort zone. Once that happens, we stop growing.

If we can simply change our attitude to one of giving and sharing, our training experience will be enriched, Training partners will look forward to working with us and through this process we will get better as they get better. As we help others, we learn the techniques even better because we get to learn them again and again. As we push others to become better, they will push us to become better.

There is enough opportunity for growth for everyone. We should be happy when others attain success because this means that we are successful too! Success and achievement is contagious! Success is easy when you and the people around you are all pulling for your success.

I challenge you to look for opportunities to help others achieve their goals. I promise you will see it return to you ten-fold!

Train Strong to Remain Strong
- Professor Kelly

Student of the Month - Jade

Favorite Color - Pink, Light Blue
Favorite Food - Pizza, Taco Salad
Favorite subject in school - P.E. Music, Writing and Reading

Family and pets - My family is a really good family. They take care of my family and I get spoiled by them. I have a cat named Socks and 2 dogs named Bubba and Nessie.


Besides Kaju, what other activities do you enjoy? School


What do you like most about training at KajuAZ? I like learning new things.

Everything You Need To Know You Can Learn at Kaju AZ, PART 2

Three years ago I blogged about our oldest son was graduating from high school and how martial arts
had shaped his life.

WELL, it happened again. Our "youngest" is graduating in a couple of weeks. I am definitely older...hopefully wiser...and while I have the same gratitude and and appreciation for all martial arts has provided Sibak Cam, it's been a different experience for this boy.

First and foremost, Sibak Cam was not a willing participant in martial arts for say.... 10 years. (Disclaimer: That might not be accurate. I am really too old to remember specifics as I have blocked most of it and am still discussing in "therapy".)  I know what you are thinking...what the heck was wrong with that boy? Or perhaps, what was wrong with his parents for "forcing" him to do it?
 
Sibak Cam was born with a strong will.  The minute I laid eyes on him, I saw it.  At first I thought it was the anesthesia haze, but it was soon proved out with the nurses informing us "there was nothing they could do" for him. It continued to prove out as he refused to nurse at precisely seven months old. It continued as he refused to do anything he did not want to do, despite all the begging, pleading, pre-framing and other necessary steps to get him to do anything (bathing, eating, playing).  It was completely evident when he refused to speak to us (his only discernable words were "I can't like it") until he was almost three years old.
 
There's very few pictures of Sibak Cam smiling in the early years.  There is very little video footage longer than 20 seconds for he started crying at 21 seconds. There were times we struggled to find anything positive about our day.  There was nothing physically wrong with him.  He was just THAT way.
 
I have always thought that the reason he was my second son was that the foundation was laid with the first and we were following the same plan with both. (Those of you who know me know I live and die by the plan/schedule.) So...we persevered.  We did the activities, outings, pictures...everything the same.  Including martial arts.
 
We had no idea how it would work.  Grandmaster and Aunty Lim assured us "he will be fine", "we can handle it" "bring him in." So we did.  Unlike my older son, I couldn't stay to watch class as it was too disruptive to Sibak Cam to see me there. So I dropped him and ran.  Literally like dropping a grenade in the middle of a room and then RUNNING out the front door.
 
When I returned at the end of most classes, there was Sibak Cam standing right next to Grandmaster, moving as he moved, staying right by his side, his face red from crying and bearing the standard-issue grumpy look. Every class summary was as follows:

"How did it go, sir?"

"He did great. See you Thursday, Cam."

"I can't like it."


I don't know what happened during class. His instructors always smiled and said he was fine. My insider source (a.k.a. big brother) would tell me simply "not good."  But we kept on.
 
As he got older, he decided to talk to us more (he could always communicate well, he just chose when and how) he definitely found moments of enjoyment and fun. He got confident and progressed.  He developed life-long relationships with his instructors and classmates.  But he never said he liked it or wanted to continue.
 
So maybe it was an exaggeration that he did not like it for 10 years. He probably did. But I could never ask " Excited about going to karate?" or "Did you like class?"  His stubborn attitude was never going to tell me the full-story and the simple fact was that it wasn't a choice. We wanted him to develop the skills taught in martial arts - discipline, self-defense, loyalty, hard-work and more (I am preaching to the choir - you all know the benefits.)  Given the choice he would have definitely chosen to play with legos, or computer-time or a TV show.  We just never gave him an option.
 

And now look at him!  (Spoiler alert: I am going to brag.) He's funny, smart, a leader (whether he wants to be one or not), hard-working, disciplined, loyal, can defend himself, physically and morally strong, honest (don't ask him questions you don't want the answer to), compassionate...and so much more.  His dad and I are amazed at the person he has become...because honestly, 18 years ago we couldn't see it happening.
 
Had it not been for martial arts, I don't know where he would have been.  For 16 years he has been actively engaged in a wholesome activity that at first was for HIS development, but now has become all about OTHERS as he teaches and shares his knowledge. He is starting his adult life will more life-skills than most and we are thrilled.
 
Could he have learned some of these traits playing soccer? Maybe? Football? Sure. Debate team? Possibly. He did some of those things and balanced his martial arts training at the same time. Seasonal sports and activities are the icing but and martial arts was the cake (always food analogies with me).  I believe he has been successful in all his extra-curricular activities, Scouts and Church due in large part to his martial arts training.

I know that martial arts is for every one - no matter your size, age, ability - and the results for each of us is the same although the journey is different: We become better in all aspects of our lives through our training. The founders of Kajukenbo knew this as Kajukenbo literally translates to "Through this fist style one gains long life and happiness."  So true!
 
Consistent martial arts training has changed Sibak Cam, and the Corder family.  Simply put, it's the reason Kajukenbo Arizona exists.  And we are forever grateful for being a part of your journey as well!

Aunty Jen

(PS: Many of you have asked Sibak Cam's plans after his June 6th graduation. He has accepted a mission call for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to the Dominican Republic. He reports August 12th and will serve for two years. After he returns he will be attending Arizona State University and has been accepted to Barrett's Honors College.)