Our boy, who in my mind can’t be more than 5 years old, is graduating from high school this Saturday. It really has been the fastest 18 years of our lives. Granted the first six weeks seemed to last forever, but since then it has been a whirlwind. One thing is for sure, no matter what teenage angst is present (it’s my angst not his), I am positive Sibak has a bright future. He has the world in front of him and Sigung and I are very proud of him.
I may sound prayerfully confident now but admittedly, I was a nervous young mother for the first couple of years. I was so concerned that everything could potentially kill him: coffee table corners, jello, microwaves and don’t forget the almost-visit to the emergency room because he sucked breast milk up his nose (Sigung literally took the car keys away from me). OR maybe he could be scarred somehow for life: does he know we love him, the doctor called him obese, he has a lisp. OR there was the possibility he would become a crazed serial killer: is he a mama’s boy, has he eaten too many McDonald’s chicken nuggets, and not to mention he witnessed his father’s freak flaming marshmallow incident of 2001. It wasn’t easy to see far enough ahead to trust the decisions we were making. Common sense prevailed (thank you Sigung) and we were able to move along.
Honestly, we did approach child rearing in a very business like manner. We made a list of ideal attributes we wanted to see our child embody as an adult. Simple things like hard worker, compassionate, patriotic, smart, funny, adaptable, critical decision maker, good father, good husband, good citizen, respectful, disciplined. All the usual with a couple of “cancer curer” “Nobel prize winner” and “strong as Thor” ideas as well.
We also made a list of things we thought we needed to do to get him to those end goals. Quite overwhelming…Spanish tutors, abacus, violin, piano, cub scouts, boy scouts, zoo trips, science center, educational vacations, police station visits, backyard hole digging, exhaustive school searches, survival scenarios, background checks on friends, chore lists, etiquette classes, operas, practice dates, dance lessons…to only name a few. It’s been a busy and productive 18 years for all of us.
One activity that seemed to cover most attributes was “enroll in a karate program.” What transpired with that choice has certainly and obviously changed our entire family’s life forever. And perhaps, more importantly, has given him all the tools he needs to make it.
(Sorry Sibak but here goes.)
Sibak is disciplined. Sigung and I have never had to remind him to do homework or stay on him to get a project done. He plans ahead and will do whatever it takes to complete a task. (Our saying - Desire, Dedication, Discipline – has major value when internalized!)
Sibak is goal-oriented. He worked for 13 years to earn his black belt. He recently made a goal to run a full-marathon (not a family inherited passion) and did it. He decided to earn his Eagle Scout Award by age 14 and did it. (What’s life without goals? Meaningless!)
Sibak is willing to work hard, physically and mentally. As an employer, Sigung has seen the devastating effects a “lazy” person can have in a company and in their own lives. And you can’t easily fix that when you are 25 or older. (CrossPIT and physical endurance exercises have paid off!)
Sibak can be patient and still. I credit hours spent waiting to compete in a tournaments, testing, seminars and such. He can sit still and not complain. He sees the merit of being able to be physically still for mental clarification. (I saw this trait developing in our Dragons at our last test. This is a major accomplishment).
Sibak can overcome anxiety. Other students don’t think he is ever nervous when he performs or breaks bricks or speaks publicly. What they don’t see is how anxious he actually is! But he has the ability to overcome that, move forward to do his best. (Must be all those testing, demos and competitions!)
Sibak is confident. Although confidence rears it is ugly side during the teenage years, we know from our own lives that he will have plenty of humbling experiences to help balance that. How many adults do you know that are disabled by lack of confidence or self-esteem issues? Sibak has seen first hand that he can accomplish so much…mentally, physically, spiritually…and even at times he may feel less-confident, we know it is inside him and he will be able to pull from that and overcome obstacles. (Kaju confidence is contagious!)
Sibak can overcome defeat in a positive manner. He has not broken every single brick every time. He has not won in all competitions. Not all his Kaju material has come easily. He has not performed to standard on all school endeavors. Disappointments and failures happen throughout our entire lives. Kaju has given him opportunities to fail and deal appropriately and effectively. (Kicking set five may have been set up for us to learn this very skill!)
Sibak has already experienced balance in life. He has balanced school, extra-curricular activities, martial arts, church and more already in his short life. Instead of cutting out Kaju because of his Track team participation, he learned to balance all areas and got it all done. What an awesome life skill this will be when he is balancing college life and way off in the future (we are in NO RUSH), a wife and family. (Kaju training should never take over your life, only enhance it.)
I could go on and I am certain Sibak is thoroughly embarrassed. He knows what I would say to him to his face at this very moment while he is blushing – “Suck it up and deal” – and thanks to his lifelong participation in martial arts, I know he can. It was hard to see the end value of a lifelong commitment to martial arts 18 years ago.
And there were year’s worth of “I don’t want to go to karate” or “it stinks to have parents that own a karate school” or “why do I have to do karate.”
But ask Sibak now if it was worth it. He will definitely tell you yes.
Ask Sigung or me if it was worth it and we will tearfully, gratefully and resoundingly say ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT A DOUBT.
Happy Graduation, son. This is only the beginning. May all your dreams come true!
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