Three years ago I blogged about our oldest son was graduating from high school and how martial arts had shaped his life.
WELL, it happened again. Our "youngest" is graduating in a couple of weeks. I am definitely older...hopefully wiser...and while I have the same gratitude and and appreciation for all martial arts has provided Sibak Cam, it's been a different experience for this boy.
First and foremost, Sibak Cam was not a willing participant in martial arts for say.... 10 years. (Disclaimer: That might not be accurate. I am really too old to remember specifics as I have blocked most of it and am still discussing in "therapy".) I know what you are thinking...what the heck was wrong with that boy? Or perhaps, what was wrong with his parents for "forcing" him to do it?
Sibak Cam was born with a strong will. The minute I laid eyes on him, I saw it. At first I thought it was the anesthesia haze, but it was soon proved out with the nurses informing us "there was nothing they could do" for him. It continued to prove out as he refused to nurse at precisely seven months old. It continued as he refused to do anything he did not want to do, despite all the begging, pleading, pre-framing and other necessary steps to get him to do anything (bathing, eating, playing). It was completely evident when he refused to speak to us (his only discernable words were "I can't like it") until he was almost three years old.
There's very few pictures of Sibak Cam smiling in the early years. There is very little video footage longer than 20 seconds for he started crying at 21 seconds. There were times we struggled to find anything positive about our day. There was nothing physically wrong with him. He was just THAT way.
I have always thought that the reason he was my second son was that the foundation was laid with the first and we were following the same plan with both. (Those of you who know me know I live and die by the plan/schedule.) So...we persevered. We did the activities, outings, pictures...everything the same. Including martial arts.
We had no idea how it would work. Grandmaster and Aunty Lim assured us "he will be fine", "we can handle it" "bring him in." So we did. Unlike my older son, I couldn't stay to watch class as it was too disruptive to Sibak Cam to see me there. So I dropped him and ran. Literally like dropping a grenade in the middle of a room and then RUNNING out the front door.
When I returned at the end of most classes, there was Sibak Cam standing right next to Grandmaster, moving as he moved, staying right by his side, his face red from crying and bearing the standard-issue grumpy look. Every class summary was as follows:
"How did it go, sir?"
"He did great. See you Thursday, Cam."
"I can't like it."
I don't know what happened during class. His instructors always smiled and said he was fine. My insider source (a.k.a. big brother) would tell me simply "not good." But we kept on.
As he got older, he decided to talk to us more (he could always communicate well, he just chose when and how) he definitely found moments of enjoyment and fun. He got confident and progressed. He developed life-long relationships with his instructors and classmates. But he never said he liked it or wanted to continue.
So maybe it was an exaggeration that he did not like it for 10 years. He probably did. But I could never ask " Excited about going to karate?" or "Did you like class?" His stubborn attitude was never going to tell me the full-story and the simple fact was that it wasn't a choice. We wanted him to develop the skills taught in martial arts - discipline, self-defense, loyalty, hard-work and more (I am preaching to the choir - you all know the benefits.) Given the choice he would have definitely chosen to play with legos, or computer-time or a TV show. We just never gave him an option.
Had it not been for martial arts, I don't know where he would have been. For 16 years he has been actively engaged in a wholesome activity that at first was for HIS development, but now has become all about OTHERS as he teaches and shares his knowledge. He is starting his adult life will more life-skills than most and we are thrilled.
Could he have learned some of these traits playing soccer? Maybe? Football? Sure. Debate team? Possibly. He did some of those things and balanced his martial arts training at the same time. Seasonal sports and activities are the icing but and martial arts was the cake (always food analogies with me). I believe he has been successful in all his extra-curricular activities, Scouts and Church due in large part to his martial arts training.
I know that martial arts is for every one - no matter your size, age, ability - and the results for each of us is the same although the journey is different: We become better in all aspects of our lives through our training. The founders of Kajukenbo knew this as Kajukenbo literally translates to "Through this fist style one gains long life and happiness." So true!
Consistent martial arts training has changed Sibak Cam, and the Corder family. Simply put, it's the reason Kajukenbo Arizona exists. And we are forever grateful for being a part of your journey as well!
Aunty Jen
(PS: Many of you have asked Sibak Cam's plans after his June 6th graduation. He has accepted a mission call for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to the Dominican Republic. He reports August 12th and will serve for two years. After he returns he will be attending Arizona State University and has been accepted to Barrett's Honors College.)
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